We Are Moving! Please visit www.rockerzine.com

Hello darlings,

Well first off let me say that over the 5 (!) years I have been writing this wee and sporadic blog I have been so pleasantly surprised that anyone other than blood relations, boyfriends, and persons in an inebriated state (though that may be the majority of you) have taken the time to enjoy my ramblings.  When I look at my stat counter keywords I am amazed that people quite regularly Google phrases like "Too Old To Rock Blogspot", "Hot Fuck Old Young" or "Is Bret Michaels Bald?" just to find this little blog.

All that changes today though, when I promote myself to The Editor In Chief of Rocker Magazine!

Here are some questions you doubtlessly have about this change:

Q: MzAmar, will your new site still have your sparkling wit?  

A: Oh how lucky you are, yes it will!  Also it will have the wit of an array of other amazing writers, all writing on Oldternative topics and interviewing Oldternative artists you love or will love soon.

Q: Will you now talk about young people?  As an aging hipster I often feel so alone and confused.  Your blog was the one thing keeping me from pulling a Michael Hutchence (wow, that was in bad taste).  

A: Have no worries aging hipster, at Rocker Magazine you are gonna see everything you ever needed for continuing to feel vibrant and rocking, despite needing a colonoscopy every once in a bit.

Q: Can Rocker Magazine whiten my teeth, bring my greying hair back to its original lustre, and help me lose 10 lbs?

 
A: Yes.

Q: I am young and fresh faced, clear minded and dewey complexioned.  Is there anything Rocker Magazine can do for me?

A: Don't worry kiddo, one day you will be saggy and addled - I guarantee it!  There is no such thing as being too prepared, so rock on over to www.rockerzine.com now!

Q: Is Rocker Magazine right for me?

A: Ask your doctor if Rocker Magazine is right for you.  Or just go here:  www.rockerzine.com

Mitch Easter of Let's Active - Live 2011

Just back from catching Mitch Easter of Let's Active at Johnny D's in Somerville.  A top show and the kind of thing that reminds one why experience trumps youth any day of the week.  The band was so tight, the energy was so there, it was truly a hypnotic evening.  

Was fortunate enough the interview the living legend for upcoming issue of my fancy new magazine - Rocker (are you on our Twitter feed yet?).  Here's some nice video from the show, showing he who produced every record you ever loved, kicking it with "To Be, Cool Thing" from his 2007 release Dynamico, and monumental pop single, "Every Word Means No".

Take our Survey - Please!

Hello dear readers.  Believe it or not, this very blog will soon transform into an EVEN FANCIER magazine with EVEN MORE CONTENT.  I know you are excited.  I know I am.

We do need some help though in understanding some stuff about how to make the website able to reach most of you darling aging rockers, so that said, would you please click below to take our poll?  3 questions long and a world of thanks is yours to keep!

http://polldaddy.com/s/04D709502719982C

Portlandia with Carrie Brownstein - Please Get Funnier

Have you ever been to a party where everybody knows each other really well, but you don't know anybody except the friend who invited you?  

Have you ever spent the night at said party sitting in the corner, nursing your plastic cup of Trader Joe's bargain bin wine, while being regaled with stories full of inside jokes about people you don't know, which everyone in the room laughs at so hard milk practically comes out their nose, while you find yourself scanning the snack table for what's left of the brie?  

Have you seen IFC's new show Portlandia starring Sleater-Kinney's Carrie Brownstein and Saturday Night Live's Fred Armisen?

Portlandia should be funny.  A series of sketches poking fun at the somewhat dated and overly precious political correctness of the residents of Portland Oregon, the subject is very much like the neighborhood I live in and if that weren't enough, Steve Buscemi makes a guest appearance. So why am I not laughing?

Despite Armisen's tenure on SNL he seems surprisingly unaware of how sketch-based humor works, and in Portlandia he neither pushes the envelope far enough, nor owns or fleshes out the characters he and Brownstein create.  So even when the pair portray a couple who leave a restaurant to personally visit the local farm where their sustainably raised chicken is being produced before ordering, they come off as merely annoying people in your neighborhood rather than actually funny.  

Brownstein is looking good in her mid-30's, and seems no longer the brilliantly tortured guitar queen of her youth. A shame then that she isn't taking comic aim at the Portland music scene, a topic she'd know well and have a unique humor insight into.  Comedy which cuts close is always the best, and in this case would doubtless would have made Portlandia a whole lot funnier. 

Till one of the stars allows Portlandia to become more personal though, it is going to continue to be like that party, laced with jokes that only insiders get.  Finding the rest of us looking for an early ride home. 

Top Grossing Tours of 2010 - Old People Music Wins

Courtesy of Digital Music News and my friend Tristram who put me on to this - enjoy list of top grossing tours of 2010.  What's the most interesting thing to note?  Bands that appeal to older people made the most cashola.  Sorry Justin Bieber, you only make it to #11!

Check out the top 8 grossers - see anything this gang have in common?:

Bon Jovi  (age 48)

Roger Waters (age 67)

Dave Matthews (age 43)

Michael Buble (age 35) 
     (but my Mother asked for his CD for XMAS so that makes him older)

The Eagles (most aged 63)

Paul McCartney (age 68)

Lady Gaga (age 24)

James Taylor (age 62) and Carole King (age 68)

Yes, that's right 5 of these 9 folks can receive social security payments while on tour.  Only Lady Gaga had not yet arrived at the age where she's wondering if her IRA is properly invested. 

One hopes these artists were selling band-branded Viagra, power scooters and explanations of Medicare Part B at their merch booths. On the upside, I guess this is proof that though the pretty young people may be all over the media, the old ones still make all the money when they go on tour.

Hometown Rant - A Few of my Favorite Things

Happy New Year!  I just stumbled across these amazing videos of some of my favorite Boston bands of the late 70's and early 80's and had to post them as a group.  Each reminds me of something that excites me about music from the past.

First up is The Atlantics - a band who were a local sensation in the early 80's, but whose lone LP - Big City Rock - I don't think really captured the excitement the band were able to convey in their locally released radio tapes and singles.  Here they are on an unnamed TV show playing a song I nearly forgot I loved "Weekend" - if this isn't perfect pop I don't know what is!  The clever guitar lines and frontman Bobby Marron's antics really make it happen.  Later members of this band would go on to form Ball and Pivot.  Guitarist Tom Hauck now writes novels.  Sadly bassist/singer Bruce Wilkinson and drummer Paul Caruso have passed away. 

Next is Human Sexual Response.  I long for the days when bands would wear crazy outfits like this on stage.  I met singer Larry Bangor years later when a band I managed opened for The Zulus, the band he and HSR guitar hero Rich Gilbert formed after this band's demise.  It was that night that Gilbert hung upside down from the rafters while playing a solo.  Hard to find performers like this anymore.

Closing out the trio, a song I reflect on all the time - The Sex Execs with "My Ex".  This song just about perfectly sums up everything about exes, and why not to go back to them.  Oh it's a simple rhyme scheme, but have there ever been truer words said than "When I think of you, I think of sex. When I think it through, I'm glad you're my ex. But then again, I still love you.  But then again, I'm glad you're my ex"  Execs Sean Slade and Paul Q. Kolderie went on to become producers and with others found Fort Apache Recording Studios which the production house for an array of area notables including Big Dipper, Blake Babies, Tracy Bonham, Buffalo Tom, Lemonheads, Bosstones, and pretty much every other record you love.

Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, .....

Billy Ruane - Boston's Legendary Promoter - Dead at 52

What can one say about Boston music promotion legend Billy Ruane? 

More than 20 years ago Ruane was the visionary to approach Cambridge's Middle East Restaurant and assure them he could fill their back room - currently stuffed with bellydancers - with admission paying, hard drinking rockers instead.  It is hard to imagine now, a Boston music scene sans the rise of this surprising independent venue outside of the grasp of Don Law. Initially Ruane's booking strategy often saw him putting up his own money to nab high profile shows away from other venues, and on occasion when things turned ugly, paying off troublemaking concertgoers to leave the venue!  With a heady mix of fandom and a dash of actual insanity, Ruane was the ultimate promoter, dancing, drinking and throwing himself on and off the stage during the myriad shows he booked and attended.  In the 1990's he seemed the very spirit of 'the scene'.

While his importance in the history of the Boston music scene is without question, he remained to the end as he ever was.  I saw him out on two occasions in the past month, once at a Muck and the Mires show at Precinct, and the other at the Green Street Grill, enjoying a glass of wine and raving about the sweetbreads special.  Each time I was greeted with the usual sloppy kiss, an impassioned stare, and the question "What are you doing now?"  A question for us all to answer as his passing reminds us how unexpectedly short life can be.

Safety Dance finds new life in the air

Are Men Without Hats getting a royalty?

Ok, to be fair, it does appear to be a cover version.

Beth Ditto Rocks The Paris Runway

The Gossip's Beth Ditto was enlisted as a model for Jean-Paul Gaultier's latest collection.  Clocking in at a size 28 she's hardly the normal runway fare, but check out how she rocks it big girl style with some snaps from Mr. Paparazzi here.

Aerosmith lays off Steven Tyler

Complete story at The Onion

Gary Numan Goes Commercial

Note to young rockers, if you can write a hit about something as ubiquitous as a car, it is going to keep you in eyeliner for a long long time.  

Witness below one godfather of electronic music, Gary Numan in a pair of unpredictable ads, one for Diehard batteries, the other a Scottish public service announcement.  

Perhaps my favorite part of these ads is Numan's unapologetically dour facade, even while these ads show this most seminal music figure must have a sense of humor buried deep within.  In view of Numan's upcoming Pleasure Principle Tour one would imagine he's not at a loss for ways to promote himself, but I do hear that even Gary Numan has to eat. 

Magic Shoppe and 28 Degrees Taurus at the Rosebud Diner Somerville

Made it out last week to see former Green Magnet School guitarist Chris Pearson's newest gig, playing with local trip-rockers Magic Shoppe at my new favorite venue The Rosebud Diner in Somerville.  Why is this my new favorite venue?  Where to start?  First off you can sit down.  Ah, my old bones!  Second, you can order a pizza from your nice waitress and eat it while you watch the bands.  Third, so far I've not seen a bad show here.  The booking is really well done.  Though one might think the lack of stage and low fi sound system could hamper the "I am at a show experience" I completely disagree.  This is a venue with a nice degree of intimacy with the artists but not one where you are on top of them with no escape.  El perfecto. 

But anyway, see below for Magic Shoppe footage.  Though 28 Degrees Taurus turned in a fantastic set, sadly no video, but everyone should check out their boy-girl arty psych burn.  And that drummer, oh he gives me shivers.

Mark E. Smith of The Fall reads sports scores.

I attended a party this weekend where the whole evening ended up with my aging rocker friends cuddling up to a giant Mac to watch videos from YouTube. One, a dedicated Fall fan, brought the following to my attention: a video of Mark E. Smith from The Fall reading football scores on BBC TV.  This just proves anything that Mark E. Smith says sounds amazing, and like a Fall song.   

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains

If anything, my tangle with Lady Gaga left me thinking a lot about the film Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains.

Should any of you not seen this cult classic from the 80's, it is no surprise, and yet I must demand you see it now!

Diane Lane stars in one of her first screen roles as Corrine Burns, a bored teen living in a nowhere town with no prospects.  Inspired upon seeing her first punk rock band (fronted by Ray Winstone from Quadrophenia, and featuring members of The Clash) she forms a group with her cousins (including a pubescent Laura Dern) that is riot grrrl before there were riot grrrls. The story unfolds over the next hour and a half with surprising depth, tackling youth, feminism, love, betrayal, disillusionment, selling out, image vs. substance, and the dirty biz of rock and roll.  If you've ever wanted to see members of The Tubes portray Spinal Tap, or just see Diane Lane looking amazing in a see-through shirt, this is the movie for you.  

Extra for experts * when Winstone decry's Lane's descent into style over substance he accuses "You're just a couple of white stripes!" - did that line name the band?   Who knows...?

Lady Gaga at the TD Banknorth Garden - and Christian rebuttal

Oh Lady Gaga, after seeing you play at the Garden last Friday, I want a Bad Romance with you!  

Talk about a crazy show, by the end Gaga had:

1 - Played piano upside down while laying on the piano hood

2 - Wore a dress that moved on its own while she stood still

3 - Danced with trannies

4 - Gave away $20,000 to a local homeless LGBT charity, courtesy of her sponsor, Virgin Mobile

5 - Wore a bustier that shot sparks out of her nipples and vagina

6  - Battled a 25 foot monster, and won.

It would be hard for me to think of something more I could have wanted from this Gaga-extravaganza.  I certainly wasn't bored!  

Today fluttering through the web though found a bizarre analysis of the brilliant video for Bad Romance, filled with heavy handed analysis it seems to miss the idea of the song being possibly about hungering for a romance that is bad for you but oh so good.  Were they never young?

New Pornographers Violence Update

Found video of Neko's freakout:




I just wanted to note, this only shows PART of the freakout.  It went on much longer than this, and cuts off just before Case makes comments about the CD lob showing "hatred" - and that in America, that's the way things are.  

Still seems amazing some boy with a fetish didn't feign responsibility just to get a whoopin' from Case.   

Neko Case is going to kick your ass: The New Pornographers & The Dodos - House Of Blues, Boston

Full of tequila is the right way to see The New Pornographers, so that's the way my companions and I did it. Loaded up on margaritas from the shockingly decent-yet-not-overpriced La Verdad next door, it was surprising to arrive at The House of Blues an hour after the doors opened and yet no band had started. A sharp contrast to the last time I was here - to see Motorhead, The Reverend Horton Heat, and Nashville Pussy, where I found that despite being outside in line when doors opened, by the time I got inside (what, 10 mins later?) Nashville Pussy were already mid-set. WTF? Upon reviewing this tale with others, I have found my story is not uncommon.

Early entry meant sitting through the opening bands, the first of which was an ever expanding acoustic outfit, The Dutchess and The Duke. At first, this Seattle outfit's boy/girl/folksy harmonies/acoustic guitar thing came across sweet as sugar. But as the set list wore on, it became evident this band is a one chord pony - good God did they learn any other keys? Tired of hearing what seemed to be nearly the same song played over and over, I finished the 2nd half of their set by attending to a pressing Scrabble game I'd started on my phone vs the computer.

I won (401 to 352 thank you very much) just in time to catch opener #2, Dodos, who unlike their terrible name, were spellbinding. Sporting a velvet-voiced singer with the looks of a twentyish Brandon Cruz (sigh), atop a band that is equal parts Keane, Plus/Minus (+/-), and a bit of Mission of Burma for added angst, it lead me to ask the musical question "Who can argue with a 3-piece where 2 of the 3 are percussionists?" And by the way did I mention that one is often a marimba? Answer: "Not me".
(video gets better halfway through, not much light).




The main event arrived at last, and as I struggled to catch all of the Pornographers in one frame on my wee camera, I realized there are simply way too many people in this band; 9 in all, including Dan Bejar who would periodically appear on stage, then leave, then return with a beer, then leave again... The band sounded excellent, and all would have gone to plan if not for one incredibly strange moment, when just a few songs into the set someone in the crowd lobbed, with considerable force, a New Pornographers CD AT THE BAND.

The CD struck AC Newman's guitar with a loud thump, then clattered to the stage. A showstopper of a moment, it was certainly the only time I've ever been to a 1000 person venue and seen the band assaulted by someone in the crowd. We're not talking the Sex Pistols - we're talking Canadians, people. Fiery haired songstress Neko Case flew into a rage, "What the fuck was that?" she bellowed with the authority of a dominatrix, "Seriously, whoever did that come up here and I will fucking fight you." It was at this moment most of the men in the room realized that although they would definitely like to make out with Case, they would not want her to be their ex-girlfriend. That is unless they like having their tires slashed. "Who did it because I will seriously pummel your fucking face in. I am a piece of shit white trash and I will fuck you up" she continued, and so it went for the next 5-7 minutes - Case indicating she would beat up every person in the room if she needed to, Newman not really knowing what to do or say, the crowd alternately silent, hooting, and a bit scared. The tension in the air was palpable, sort of like one of those old Zorro movies where he threatens the entire Mexican army and all 500 of them back down because - hey, he's Zorro man, you don't fuck with him!

Nobody admitted to the crime, and eventually the show started back up, and the CD was handed out as a gift to someone in the first row. An hour yet to go, but the defining moment of the show had come and gone. Sadly, no video of that below, you'll just have to settle for the rock.

Devo on The Colbert Report

What a pleasant surprise to find Devo visiting Comedy Central's Colbert Report, promoting their new album "Something for Everybody". Watch the seminal new wavers them explain to Colbert how they've been "proven right" about De-evolution.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Devo
www.colbertnation.com

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Devo - Fresh
www.colbertnation.com

Devo singer Mark Mothersbaugh is looking remarkably slimmed down from how he was appearing just a few years ago, and I salute him. Imagine all the spuds that went uneaten to drop that weight.

I further appreciate that much like when I saw them in 2008 Devo may be older, but they sure are still creepy! Just check out that video running behind them as they play, a woman's crotch, her panties burst into tears, then there is a puppy, then there is a kitten, ow, ow, my head!

Good luck aging new wavers from Ohio. Thank you for continuing to freak me out.

BP Oil Spill Humor - Starring Nat Freedberg of The Upper Crust

What is better than a parody of the BP Oil Spill disasater? It is one featuring Nat Freedberg of The Upper Crust / Titanics / Satanics / Flies.

The Buzzcocks at the Paradise, Boston

It was at some point during "Autonomy" that I realized the last time I saw The Buzzcocks was about 15 years ago at a venue in New York, where I saw the last of the shoegazers - Adorable - opening up for the punk legends.

That same night, I somehow ended up scoring an invite to an after party held in a very New York loft where one could mingle with both of the bands in question. I was with my friend Gretchen, who was hip, arty, and never lost her cool, but that was the night I saw her facade crack for the first and only time. Come to find out The Buzzcocks had played an important part in her young life and she was a gigantic fan. Merely sharing the same room with Pete Shelley was inducing a near nauseous state in her. Watching him from across the room we trembled as we carefully planned something "smart" to say to the seminal vocalist. 15 minutes later, we skittered over to him. "I love your pants" Gretchen said, indicating a smart looking pair of red plaid bondage numbers he was sporting. "Oh thank you!" he cheerfully replied. "My Mum bought them for me!" Knowing the conversation was not going to yield a better nugget than that, we nodded, giggled, and nervously and ran away, spending the rest of the summer recounting our 10 seconds with the legend.

Tonight there were no bondage pants, and Shelley is looking significantly older, more like your portly, balding, Uncle Alan whose main interests are comfy chairs, tea, and biscuits. The sound in the club is mostly terrible, but this can't repress the glee that arises from watching drummer Danny Farrant in action. A tumble of scrawny limbs pounding furiously he is the showpiece of the set. As promised the band's first two albums are played in order, but it's far more exciting when they get to the "all hits" encore.







Drummer Porn: