Being a Bad Songwriter = Proof of Insanity. Except in China That Is.

Yesterday I got the news bright and early that China had executed Englishman Akmal Shaikh for smuggling heroin into the country. Well that sounds pretty clear cut doesn't it? The English government promptly sounded protests insisting the man was mentally ill and not to be blamed for his actions. What proof do the English have of Shaikh's insanity?

Exhibit one: "Come Little Rabbit" (click to download), a song Shaikh recording believing it would bring world peace (rather than establish him as the next Daniel Johnston).

Exhibit two: Shaikh was traveling to China in search of a recording contract. Presumably because there are no record companies in England.

OK Gordon Brown, you're right. Crackers!

I'm only sad that there will probably be precious few covers of this song which likely could have happily taken their place on the CD rack next to songs by Ernest Noyes Brookings and Wesley Willis.

Al Jourgensen says "Go Fuck Yourself For Christmas"

Oh I hate Christmas Songs, and now I have a friend in hating them, Ministry's Al Jourgensen. But while my dislike of them has prompted me to remember to wear an IPod during all holiday shopping rather than run the risk of leaving a store singing Patti LaBelle all day, Jourgensen's dislike has somehow resulted in him releasing a Christmas song (which sounds remarkably like "Space Age Love Song" by A Flock of Seagulls).



Sadly this video cements that Jourgensen is no very foxy anymore (gee, what, not as hot as when I saw you on the Twitch tour? What's wrong with you?) but I do admire him creating the one holiday song I predict won't hear blasting in Macy's (but possibly in Target). Whither Patti LaBelle?

How do you spell AC/DC?

Does listening to Heavy Metal really hurt your IQ?

Weezer Snuggie - You now know what to get me for XMAS

Joan Baez is Fucking Amazing!!

Here is a link to an amazing story my sister sent me about Joan Baez confronting some protesters outside her show in Idaho

"Last night, four Vietnam veterans protested Joan's concert in Idaho Falls with signs reading: "JOAN BAEZ - SOLDIERS DON'T KILL BABIES, LIBERALS DO" and "JOAN BAEZ GAVE COMFORT & AID TO OUR ENEMY IN VIETNAM & ENCOURAGED THEM TO KILL AMERICANS!" Joan was informed that the men were protesting her concert about an hour before it was due to begin and she immediately walked out onto the street to talk to them...."

OK Joan Baez, you are now officially my hero! Way to kick butt!

X (the band) at the Paradise May 26, 2009

So what is this? The 8th time I've seen X? I just remember the first time was in the 80's on the tour with Tony Gilkyson, I was so sad then that I'd missed the Billy Zoom heyday. I think there were 2 shows with Gilkyson, 2 with Dave Alvin, and the last 4 with Zoom. Oh Billy Zoom there is no comparison to you. Your bizarre frozen smile, your stock still stance while you kick total ass on guitar. And Zoom, you're just ONE of the members of X! I mean most bands have one or maybe 2 standout members but X has four! Dissonant singing wild child Exene, foxy earthy bassist John Doe, and skin beater extraordinaire DJ Bonebrake. But having seen this band without Zoom, let me assure you the complete package needs to be in place to get the full effect. How delightful they're still playing today.

Tonight's show was all by voter request at X's website so it seemed there were a lot more obscure album tracks to be heard tonight instead of just the hits. Of course, knowing every song they ever did front to end doesn't hurt either.

This just terrifies me

Indian Version of Thriller, somehow even scarier than Michael Jackson in real life.

The Woggles - Sweet Potato!

Its been far too long since I posted a video of a show I went to, and The Woggles, are worth every letter I type.

Possibly the greatest garage band in this nation, The Woggles sell it like nobody sells it, with matching outfits, stage choreography and a proclivity for getting off the stage and booty shaking along with the fans in the audience. A few weeks ago they played another sparkling set as part of the Muck and The Mires CD release party. In reference to that matter all I can say is the new record is not only produced by legendary freakazoid Kim Fowley, but the cover is real 3D, and comes with 3D glasses. Get yourself a cut gratis here. The Konks, at their first show in forever were also delightful, man, that Yukki Gipe sure can hit.

The Indelicates: Thank Fuck For The Fucking Recession!

I had been dismayed that so few young people bother to write songs anymore about annoying topics, but then The Indelicates came to my rescue with The Recession Song. With the very Art Brut sound of this single and members of Art Brut playing on it to boot, how can I not love this fine tune?



And while we're speaking about Art Brut, their new record drops this week. Lead parable "Alcoholics Unanimous" finds Eddie Argos contemplating his drunken behavior and considering rehab all with a fine sing along cheer. Ah the glorification of the drunk life. How I love that!



So there is it my new favorite songs about poverty and drunkenness. Let us welcome the new age upon us.

Can I call em or can I call em?

Check my blog dated January 5 2009. I guessed Taya would win Rock of Love Tour Bus Edition back at week one. I am da bomb!

Billy Bob Thornton is an Asshole

I am sure many have already seen this, but if you haven't it's certainly worth viewing all the way through. Billy Bob Thornton being interviewed on a Canadian show about his band, and becoming increasingly el-strange-o as the interview continues. It should come as no surprise that after this the band canceled their Canadian tour, I would guess because, well, who can get along with those cantankerous Canadians (internationally known for their bad temper and hostility aren't they)? Oh, what I mean to say is one might reasonably deduce that after this interview these gents were presented with a bag lunch and put on the next moose heading towards the southern border. Bless you Canada. I'd stand on guard for you too.

Some of the other things I enjoy otherwise about this video are the fact that everyone in Thornton's band apparently got identical glasses at some kind of fire sale, and of course the fact that while I am sure Thornton thinks he is 'way cool' for being hostile, confusing, and vague he actually just is a total asshole. I feel so sorry for his bandmates. Being stuck on a tour bus with this jackass would appear to be the textbook definition of hell.

Ashes to Ashes to Kings of the Wild Frontier: Adventures in the forbidden zone

Two odd little new wave bits have come my way this week.

First off, via my friend Phil, who subscribes to the Antpeople Twitter, a link to a man writing about how listening to Adam and the Ants' "Kings of the Wild Frontier" brought him to a deeper understanding of himself and his Christian faith. No, I didn't make this up. Considering that Ant himself has grown up to be a deeply troubled individual (alas Prince Charming!) I'm sure he'd be glad to hear his music is making people into better individuals with each listen.

2nd, how happy I was to tune into the new BBC America show "Ashes to Ashes" this week? Though I could not quite sort out the story, the premise is excellent. A policewoman, at the very moment she is about to be shot to death, is surprisingly transported back in time to 1981. After having a hallucinogenic vision of David Bowie in his Ashes to Ashes video, she awakes to find herself in a tarty yet posh getup like a member of Vanity 6, partying on a boat with poofy haired men with big round glasses singing along loudly to Ultravox's "Vienna". I really don't care what happens in this show, so long as they keep setting chase scenes to Duran Duran's "Careless Memories" I am so in.

Lux Interior RIP

People! I can hardly express how sad I am to write about the death of Lux Interior, founding member of The Cramps. You can read Pitchfork's obit here.

It was just a few years ago that I was able to catch the Cramps at the Roxy here in Boston, I'd never gotten to see them in their heyday, but from the show that night it was evident they were in no way past their prime. Interior strode on stage in a plasticine snake print body suit with matching jacket, he hollered and writhed the show away, huffing the scent out of one of Ivy's boots as she played some serious thunderous guitar looking unbelievably hot even in what, her mid-50's?

If anything, shows like this were among the very things that encouraged me to put together a blog like this one, which (at least intermittently) aims to celebrate aging rockers who are still out there kicking ass. Bottom line Mr. Interior, your death cuts me to the core. Thank god I saw you before you went, and thanks for rocking into your early 60's. Rest in Peace.

Below: The Cramps in their immortal performance in Urgh A Music War singing Tear This Damn Place Up.

RIAA Gives Up (pretty much) On Illegal Downloading

A recent conversation with a friend about 'just how dangerous it is to post music to your blog' led me to a bit of surfing which turned up a raft of really interesting reporting done by CNet in December of 2008.

As some may recall, the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) has in the past gone after individuals for whopping sums for downloading or uploading to songs to share sites such as KaZaa, but thus far all of these cases have either been settled out of court for relatively nominal sums, or been unsuccessful. This despite the RIAA's threats on their website that they will throw individuals in jail for up to 5 years for downloading so much as 1 Madonna single, a punishment hardly on par with the crime.

With illegal downloading expanding rather than contracting in response to the RIAA's efforts, the group is now seeking a new method to stop file sharing, creating a blackist of people whose internet activity suggests they are doing a buncha up and downloading, and then asking their ISP's to disable their accounts.

On the upside, this approach is far more humane, reasonable, and far less costly attempting to sue individuals (what, were they going to bring suit against just about everyone in the entire United States?), on the other, as CNet points out through an interview with one ISP, why should they do the RIAA's work for free? So far, exactly zero ISPs are stepping up to the plate, and why would they? They'd be driving off their own customers - and that is capitalism at its best.

One final thought on the immediate future of the RIAA, with the world economy being through the floor, and record sales descending, how much more money can they rally to hire lawyers and prosecute anyone over this issue? At $200- $400 an hour, they better be picking and choosing who they bother to fight. A 40 hour work week for just one lawyer, could sure pay for a lotta songs.

Alicia Keys & Gene Simmons of Kiss on Banzai!

I recently find myself laying in bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about one of my favorite shows from the past - Banzai! Banzai! is sort of a parody of a "Japanese TV Show" which actually came from the UK in the early 2000's. The format is a betting show, where viewers are supposed to wager on the outcome of an array of peculiar events set up by Banzai staff. The show had a brief run here in the US on Fox before Asian-American activists shut them down - gee, I wonder why?

Nonetheless, one of my very favorite recurring sketches is Lady One Question - a girl reporter who asks celebrities one question and continues to stare at them as if they are still answering until confused, they eventually walk away. Below one can enjoy her interview of Gene Simmons from Kiss, how long will the batty blowhard talk? Well wager why don't you?



Not had enough of music celebs being hosed by fake Japanese for the bemusement of the BBC viewing public? Then try on for size Alicia Keys being interviewed by "Mr Shake Hands Man" a reporter whose entire goal is to see how long he can get a celeb to shake his hand (sorry to say, he's not really that interested in your latest project - cough cough - but really, who is?). Again, place your bets now!




Bonus! Bill Murray, just because I like him:

My Bloody Valentine 3D - not the same as My Bloody Valentine

A common problem seems to have struck my friend Kelly (and Phil, and others)...

"I was watching tv this week, when a movie commercial came on and I'm sitting there going 'Wait, why are people screaming? What's with the stuff being thrown at you' etc before the wheels in my head started to turn and I realized that "My Bloody Valentine 3-D" is not in fact a concert film of the band My Bloody Valentine - it's a horror movie."

If only My Bloody Valentine the band were in the movie My Bloody Valentine 3-D, alas. But to tide one over here's a very old MBV single from our friends at Little Hits. Cool beans.

Rock of Love Tour Bus Edition - some thoughts...

I hate to admit that for some reason I find Bret Michaels' Rock of Love intoxicating.

I mean, if I were to treat the show like something on The Discovery Channel - I'd say its certainly interesting to see how big modern science can inflate a woman's breasts, while at the same time it's intriguing to note that even the greatest minds of our time apparently find themselves unable to do anything to inflate her self esteem (hmph! Science!). But even with this bit of science out of the way, I think my favorite part of Rock of Love is how Michaels spends much of the show deeply wounded and full of sensitive remorse whenever he finds that any of the stripppers, porn stars, and deeply psychiactrically troubled women the folks at VH1 have painstakingly assembled for him to test the waters of romance with - may not be there because they are romantic idealists who truly wishes to commit to a life of love with a (surely balding) aging rock has-been, but in fact may just be doing it because they are crazy beeyotches who want to be on TV. Imagine that!

The other puzzling part of this show is how Michaels, a childhood onset diabetic (and didn't I read one-time recovered alchoholic?) is often shown parting hard with the ladies. Um, wouldn't all that booze get in the way of his healthy lifestyle?

PS - My money is on the Penthouse Pet Taya, because as she says “I’m a centerfold model for Penthouse and I’m the classiest one here!"

PPS - And what up with all that eyeliner Michaels now wears? He looks like he's going to be in an amateur theater production of Rent.

Snoop and Martha Stewart say "Pass The Courvoisier" : Cognac makers thank rappers for boost in sales

Talk about a great story on NPR this AM about how Cognac sales once were flagging but ever since Busta Rhymes sang "Pass The Courvoisier" in 2001, African Americans have flocked to the elite french brandy.

No longer is cognac considered an old man beverage, and now, thanks to Rhymes and Snoop Dogg - who's song "For the Good Times" about the a young hip cognac called Landy (commissioned by the liquor maker) - sales are strong. Download For the Good Times here, and enjoy Martha Stewart hosting Snoop on her show below. Her reading his emails aloud must be sampled into someone's song soon.