The intersection of oral hygiene and rock and roll x2

About 1 second after espying the “Tooth Tunes Toothbrush” by Tiger at my local CVS I had 3 in my hand and was headed for the cash register. Who could deny the snappy packaging, promising the item inside will “Rock your teeth clean” to the songs of Kiss, Queen, Kelly Clarkson, and The Black Eyed Peas among others? At last someone was able to marry two things close to my heart – rock and fresh breath. Well this had to be investigated.

A few hours later, toothbrush in mouth, I began to find out that the Tooth Tunes toothbrush is even odder than I expected. First off, the toothbrush has no speaker system to speak of, so oddly the music (which thankfully is original recordings) is transmitted via vibrations from the bristles into your teeth. Brush harder, the music is louder, brush softer, the music gets softer. You could effectively remix a song in this manner. But perhaps the most important question for me to answer here is “What is it like to receive music in your head via a toothbrush?” The answer is “Entirely uncomfortable, thank you very much.”

I often dream of getting to work at a company that makes strange niche-market items with incredibly limited appeal like this one (I mean, haven’t the folks at Tiger noticed that brushing after meals and rocking out are hardly compatible?). I'm already having visions of the collectability of this item. After the first lot sell out, I can’t imagine them making a lot more, so get yourself to the drugstore and get one now. If you do, I hope the folks at Tiger will be lead to believe there is a market for a Cheap Trick toothbrush, and I personally can hardly wait to hear “Dream Police” vibrating through the bones in my head.

In a nearly related story, Mark Matthews, former bass player of British jangle-pop pioneers The Dentists is bringing his new band The Echo Heights on a mini-tour of the Northeast US next week and everyone should go.The Echo Heights are a deeply pleasing psychedelic pop delight toned with hints of ennui in all the right places.I suppose this kind of thoughtful strum is less popular with the kids now than it once was, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth adoring.Dates in Boston, Worchester, NYC, DC, and Nashville are on tap. Pop on down, won’t you?